Channels TV: what is the website of NSCDC?

Shem: the website of NSC…NSCDC…yes will be made known…I cannot categorically tell you one now…because the one that…

Channels TV: (cuts in) you have multiple websites?

Shem: wait, wait…the one we are going to make use of, I am not the one that is going to create it.

Channels TV: see, the question is what is your website?

Shem: (cuts in) waaait , the one we are going to make use of…is go…is going to remain known by (raising right index finger) my oga at the top. I can’t announce one now and my oga says it’s another one.

Channels TV: you mean NSCDC has multiple websites?

Shem: see, we cannot have multiple websites, but the one that…that…my oga will say

Channels TV: not the one for employment. what is your website now. The one you use normally. Your official website. If you want to know about NSCDC, what website do you go to?

Shem: okay, if you want to know about NSCDC as at now?

Channels TV: exactly.

Shem: okay, ww.nscdc

Channels TV: yes

Shem: yes, so… (Coughs). That’s all.

Channels TV: ww.nscdc? …that’s it?

Shem: yes.

* * * * * * * * * *

A person willing to be acquainted with the leading distraction in Nigeria need not go far before he hears someone shout; ‘you are my oga at the top’, ‘my website is dobiyu dobiyu dot daz all’, ‘lemme first of all ask my oga at the top’ and so on. Or perhaps he might even be fortunate to catch a glimpse of one of the polos and shirts customised to celebrate this act of; shall we say mediocrity, ignominy or spirited witlessness? We can logically conclude that a Nigerian who is unaware about the tale is either among the 71.57% of Nigerians without internet access or one of the 55.3% without access to TV.

The topical hilarious, yet disastrous ‘my oga at the top’ saga is one which, in my sincere opinion, should oblige us to engage in deep introspection on our predicament as a nation.

Some are of the view that Mr Obafaiye Shem, the Lagos state commandant of the Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps and the icon in this drama, ought to resign or better still be sacked for committing such a weighty blooper. But then, I think that this should not be the case. The only flaw people who are critical of the man can point out is that which concerns the organisation’s website address; which I frankly deem trivial and negligible. I mean, the man has just recently celebrated 100 days in office and a URL address is one of the things he should not be bothered with, especially giving the office he holds. The only problem I have is his trying to bluff his way out rather than just admitting his unawareness, and then his constant reference to his ‘oga at the top’, whoever that is.

Watching the video again, I could not but laugh at the laughable, unimpressive and preposterous manner in which Mr Shem arrogantly answered the question. He obviously seemed uncomfortable and fidgety. Perchance, he was only caught up with the dilemma principle.

Some also opine that the startling diffusion of the incident is because of the activities of companies who want to divert attention from the content of the interview. However, I beg to disagree. The stuff has gone viral because Nigerian cyber-surfers want it that way. The question we should ask ourselves is why do Nigerians want it that way. My answer: poverty and idleness. Most Nigerians have little or nothing to do. We needed something to while away time, and ‘our oga at the top’ has come to give us just that.

Finally and finally, my message to all and sundry is one, to not just be the best in whatever it is we are doing, but also to have little knowledge on other things as well. Because, seriously speaking, it could have been anybody. Mr Shem, surprisingly has three degrees to his credit, yet he is yet to master the art of speechifying. This makes one wonder how he successfully scaled through his past interviews. Two, we should endeavour to take note of little subtle details because at times they matter more than the glaring ones. Let us not be extremely conservative to the extent of not paying attention to important things such as the format URL addresses take. Three, it never pays not to know a thing, and claim or act as if you know it. If you do this, you will only succeed in making a ridicule of yourself and making your ignorance more apparent. Lastly, we all know that in Nigeria, one needs ‘ogas at the top’ to go places, but never attempt to over-extol them while giving public addresses, most especially on channels TV. 🙂