COMPILATION OF HON. OBAHIAGBON’S STAGGERING RELEASES

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HERE IS A COMPILATION OF TEN OF THE LEGENDARY AND CONTROVERSIAL PERSONALITY, HONOURABLE PATRICK OBAHIAGBON’S (ALIAS IGODOMIGODO), RELEASES ON NIGERIAN POLITY.

DON’T JUST READ WITH THE INTENT OF LAUGHING, ENDEAVOUR TO GAIN AS WELL.

ENJOY!

1. ON NIGERIA AT 52

As we celebrate our flag and shambolic autarky at 52, we must realise that Nigeria is still more of a geographic contrivance as has been
rightly posited by Chief Obafemi Awolowo. Not with our centrifugal
excrescences preponderating over our centripetal proclivities.
It’s a matter for mental pabulum that we are daily drifting into our ethnic cocoons. We still remain one country with disparate ethnic agendas and I can say it for the umpteenth time again that we must sit down in a sovereign national colloquy to discuss the basis for our nationhood.
Anything short of this is just vacuous scahiamachy.”
Patrick Obahiagbon

2. ON PROF. SOFOLUWE’s DEATH.

“I condole with the UNILAG Community on the recumb in quietus of the VC, Prof. Sofoluwe. The clerisy has lost a solitaire. “Prof. Sofoluwe’s passing is mere ephemeral recumbent hibernation; an
empyrean paradisiac rendezvous lies ahead. Heaven is the terminus,”
Patrick Obahiagbon On Being Disturbed By A Girl On Facebook

3. ON DISTURBANCES ON HIS FACEBOOK WALL

At long last,Sodom and Gomorrah don come tanda gidigba for my FB Wall.I beg make una help me beg one Sabinna with kpotoki body and her coquettish fidus achates when they dress in puris naturalibus for my wall say make them carry their fiddle.faddle commot go another piazza.I enter public disclaimer lest i swim in the legal aqua of
particeps criminis.

4. ON GOV. OSHIOMOLE’s VICTORY AGAINST TONY ANENIH.

“Amidst the great cosmogyral peregrinations of galaxies, amidst the great turmoil in the Land, there is still hope for the future. Congratulations the People’s Governor.
The Governor’s antecedents is the coherentific factor behind the Great People of Edos’ consensus verdict. Tony Anenih will be positively alabandical. Say no to God Fatherism.”

5. ON NIGERIAN PASTORS AND PRIVATE JETS

I cast my vote for Bishop Matthew Hassan Kukah and Pastor Tunde Bakare in their demosthenic vitriol against spiritual megalomaniacs whose modus vivendi has become increasingly byzantine and
repulsively narcissistic.We must all begin to deprecate this razzmatazz and Nestorian braggadocio in the “HOUSE OF
GOD”,because when there is no difference between the values of a Pastor and a typical Nigerian Politician,then it’s truly a
bolekaja ambience.

6. ON THE JUBILATION IN KADUNA OVER YAKOWA’S DEATH

“Whilst I feel tongue tied that we are witnessing another ‘air mishap’ that has taken the lives of fellow Nigerians, I am utterly shocked to hear of the jubilation in certain Northern political quarters and muslim youths in Kaduna State. Just too too cruddy and it is beyond the fugacious razzmatazz of the moment.
“I seriously call attention to the rutilanting and coruscating modus vivendi of Master Jesus the Christ and I dare pontificate that
save and until we viscerally emblematize the virtues of self-immolation, quintessential abnegation, eulogizeable simplicity, humility and immerse ourselves in a platonic emotionalism of agape love and communalistic service and head to
unity as one nation,”

7. AFTER LOSING HIS PRIMARY ELECTION.

‘This has made me suffused with emotional narcolepsy that the
homosapiens in d metro-political geographical enclave of Edo have opted for Owanbe-ing over legislative Quomodo dicis. Such a reckless display of narcissistic and flamboyant hedonism is capable of
encumbering our nascent democracy with insidious, repercussive and cataclysmic exigencies.

8. ON 2013 ASUU STRIKE

This ASUU strike is a miasma of a deprecable apothesis of an hemorrhaging plutocracy, cascadingly oozing into a malodorous excrescence of mobocracy.
With all termagant ossifying proclivities of a kakistocracy, our knowledgia centura is enveloped in a paraphlegic crinkum crankum.
Therefore ASUU,cest in dejavu, dejavu peret ologomabia.

9. ON PATIENCE D. JONATHAN AND THE RIVERS STATE CRISIS

Is the malodorous excrescence in Rivers state,cascadingly oozing out from erebus Dame,all about the satiation of a megalomaniacal presidential termagant?
Let someone please assist me in whispering to the Dame that Alagamus Paret,Ai Ai Num,Ai Ai Num Cest Daret,Opotere Alagamus…

AND LASTLY…

10. AN INTERVIEW WITH VANGUARD

What is the meaning of Igodomigodo? So many people would want to know?

Igodomigodo is a political sobriquet I have habilimented or if you like togarise my identity for a period of aeon to emblematize my culturico-spiritual fons et origo. It was an advertent stratagem to
cosmopolitanize my genealogical matrix and arcane trajectory since it was not by accident that I originated from the land of Igodomigodo. The interesting thing is that IGODOMIGODO, being the pristine
nomenclature of the Bini man, evokes in me the alacritous presence of the invisible “gods” of my progenitors which, by itself, invokes a luxuriation in an ancestral egregore of pristine resurgimento.

How did you actually come about the bombast with which you speak?

Well, this question can be answered from a bifurcated fons et origo.
One, I had a singular privilege of having a martinet for a father. My father was, and remains a very strict disciplinarian of puritanical and quixotic predilection. What that meant, my brother, in practical terms was that I never saw the streets of Benin outside my father’s compound after 7p.m., until I became a practising lawyer. I didn’t
know how Benin looked like after 7p.m., except of course when I had to go to school.
If you grew up under that type of ambience, you cannot but put your nose to the grindstone. And more germane was the fact that when my father traveled abroad, he brought with him a flyer to the effect that good speakers have ruled the world, and if you want to rule the world, you cannot but be a good speaker. I was very impressionable when he gave me this flyer which he had bought from London
and for me who have always had the primus mobile and gravitating force to want to be part and parcel of the political higgi haggar of my milieu, I said to myself that if being a good speaker was the
condition sine qua non for ruling the world, then I was going to do everything possible to be a good speaker and that was how I acclimatized myself very voraciously to the Students’ Companion and read all there was to read that came my way. It was indeed a period of mental lucubration and intellectual gymkhana but more fundamentally is the fact that – and I’ve always said this – for most people, the dictionary is a reference point; but, for me, for over 25years now, the dictionary is a vade mecum – constant companion that
is.

How?

I have spent nothing less than an hour on a daily basis on my dictionary for the past twenty five years and this could go from
the pedestrian dictionary to the Encyclopedia and even to the Encarta
dictionaries.

What purpose do you want to achieve with that? Just to speak, or to confuse people by being bombastic and verbose?

Let me tell you an incident that occurred that I want to bring under focal hiceps and biceps when I had the rare privilege to peregrinate through the green chambers, the House of Representatives, specifically.
I’m talking about when I had the opportunity to describe the intended
legislative gambadoism of my colleagues as amounting to legislative rascality. You remember I was to be committed to
parliamentary seppuku for that idiolect.

THANKS FOR READING!

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WHY LAW ?

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WHY I CHOSE TO STUDY LAW.

My decision to study law was not haphazard, but as a result of a number of factors. These factors are what I plan to tersely discuss in this article. The decision is one I’ve made while I was more or less still an abecedarian: during my primary school days. At the time, I understood the significance of choosing ones career at an early stage to give room for the development of passion and adequate preparation. In short, I did not want to be labelled an NFA, id est., someone with No Future Ambition.
Whether, my parents coerced me into it, whether I envisioned it in a dream or whether making this very fundamental choice naturally follows from my zodiac sign being ‘Libra’ – you’ll soon get to know.
The will-soon-be-mentioned points are the reasons for my choosing to be a lawyer, but some of them may equally be considered as reasons anyone should choose law as a profession. The reasons I made the decision, stood by it and never once faltered in my determination to be learned person, thus include:

PROMINENCE OF LAW
No doubt, Law is one of the most renowned and widely recognised professions. Whenever and wherever, good careers are mentioned, law is always among – and then, perhaps, Medicine, Engineering and Accounting. Hence, this was one of the factors that contributed to my decision, as well as the decisions of numerous other children.
Again, Lawyers enjoy a great amount of veneration from others. Anyone tagged as “D-LAW”, is always seen as a reservoir of knowledge and an insightful personalty. Even as a law student, I enjoy this show of respect from people on sundry occasions. And it not only endeared me to the profession, but also re-assures me from time to time that there’s no other course I’d rather take.
UNIQUENESS OF LAW
Apart from the prominence law enjoys as a profession, it is also a quite unique career, most distinct from others. It is mainly because of this peculiarity that non-lawyers express envy towards us, especially in the university environment.
One, law is the most conservative profession. The up-till-today use of wig, gown, latin and archaic expressions attest to this fact.
Secondly, law students are the only set of university students that use clothes of uniform colours: id est., black and white attires. White represents deep wisdom, purity and innocence, while black represents power, authority, as well as blindness i.e fairness and justice.
And lastly, law is the only course in which a department, prima facie, constitutes a whole faculty. All other faculties [and colleges] are split into several departments.
ADVOCACY LAWYERING
A lawyer is either in the profession by accident/coercion, or for the fame and fortune he might get. If not, then he is in it to get and advocate justice, either for himself or for others who have been wronged. No law student would tell you that his own objective for studying law is to defend the wrong-doer against the wronged, or to protect the oppressor from the oppressed. All would-be legal practitioners desire to be advocates of justice, paladins of freedom and heralds of equity. I am no exception.
I have said it before and I will herewith reiterate it: The greatest problem the society, the nation and the world at large is facing is not malaria, neither is it bad roads. Our greatest problem, incontrovertibly, is corruption.
The question now is, which professionals or practitioners are in the best position to tackle this problem? It is definitely not doctors; they only treat those who are the major source of this problem when they’re ill, and then abandon the victims of the corrupt circumstance we find ourselves. It is definitely not journalists; they can only bark, they possess not the necessary canines to bite. It is not engineers. Neither is it accountants. I am of the strong belief that it is none other than lawyers. It is they that have the essential weapon to bring corruptionists to book and prosecute all who involve themselves in unwholesome conducts.
So, just as we have advocacy journalists, there are also advocacy lawyers. These are lawyers that believe in a cause, and utilise their profession in the fight for that cause. Persons like Gani Fawehinmi, who loudly spoke against bad leadership and Nelson Mandela, who publicly condemned apartheid and gave legal aids to blacks who needed them, are perfect examples.
HISTORICAL IMPACT
Law is a profession that has produced many leaders and influential personages who have left indelible trails in the sands of time. They succeeded both in legal practice and extra-legal practice, most of them being renowned politicians, activists and orators.
Paragons of this instance include Abraham Lincoln, the man who greatly promoted the abolition of slave trade and prevented the disintegration of the American union; Nelson Mandela, the first black President of South Africa who played a key role in the struggle against apartheid in South Africa; Mahatma Gandhi, a non-violent revolutionary that successfully clamoured for India’s independence from Britain. Another good example is John Grisham, a world best-selling writer of fictions. And in Nigeria here we have the likes of Patrick Obahiagbon, a controversial orator, political-activist and well-recognised grammarian, and a host of others making names for themselves in the the entertainment, most especially, movie industry.
INDISPENSABILITY
It is worth mentioning that law is also a quite essential and indispensable profession. Most, if not all, institutions can do without medical doctors and engineers, but tell me a company that can live long without prompt and periodic legal succour. In fact, most gatherings require the presence of a lawyer to guide them through their proceedings, and put them to order whenever they dabble into illicitness.
Nations like Russia and France, have in time past, banned the operation of lawyers. But later on, despite the antipathy they harboured against them, they had to rescind the ban, after realising the “indispensability” of law, and by extension lawyers.
LUCRATIVENESS, BROAD RANGE OF OPPORTUNITIES
In time past, Law was a very unrewarding profession. Orators in ancient Athens, Greece, who could be referred to as the first lawyers were required by law not to request for payments for their rendered services. It was like helping out a friend in difficulty. In early ancient Rome too, precisely 204 BC, there was a law banning advocates from taking fees [but the law was widely ignored]. Emperor Claudius later abolished the ban and legalised the legal profession, but he also imposed a fee ceiling of 10,000 sesterces for anyone willing to work as a lawyer.
Nowadays, the tide has turned. Lawyers, are today, one of the most paid professionals. A lawyer who knows his onions well could get paid in millions for a single case, with no stress. The best part is that there abounds a wide range of opportunities for anyone who has been called to bar or who has formal knowledge of legal practice. Such a person could become an advocate, a solicitor, a legal adviser to corporate bodies or to the government, an arbitrator, a lecturer. He can as well successfully seek jobs in fields such as politics, journalism, entrepreneurship and so on, if the competition in legal practice proves too fierce for him.
NATURAL POLEMIC DEXTERITY
Well, I wouldn’t say I was much of a debater, even up till this moment. However, I was a lot better than most of my mates. I was naturally daring, audacious and may be stubborn at times. Recently, perhaps a couple of months back, I found out from my mom that this attitude was inherent in me since I was young, that I even showed it to her apprentices.
I can recall many occasions that I challenged my primary school teachers, secondary school teachers and even university lecturers – and on those occasions, I often got penalised. Even my family, most especially my mom, complain about my habit challenging their dispositions. As a result, one of my brothers always suggested that I train myself professionally as lawyer.
If there is any activity I had interest in and loved doing, it is debating. But please, do not at all confuse debating with public speaking – that I developed just recently. About two years back, I was a poor public speaker, I was very apprehensive of facing a crowd and if at all I did face a crowd, I was always trembling. But gradually, I have been able to improve in that aspect as well.
MY SIBLINGS
YES! Without doubt, this also contributed to my choice of career. It is not the case that all my siblings, or should I say brothers, were lawyers or would-be lawyers. Rather, it is quite the opposite. The three of them chose to go to the science department while in senior high. My eldest brother, now a graduate and bonafide member of the Nigerian labour force, studied computer science while in school. The ‘second in command’ is currently ‘reading’ Estate management in a federal university of technology. And my immediate elder brother is studying pure chemistry at present.
It is a source of pride for me, actually, to be the only ‘black sheep’, the only art student, the only historian, the only literary expert, the only political analyst and, most importantly, the only learned child of the four of us.
“THE INCORRUPTIBLE JUDGE”
“The incorruptible Judge”. This is a book I read in my early childhood. It is authored by Olu D. Olagoke. The theme of this book centre on a judge who is morally upright, who is incorruptible. Then a matter got to his court involving, if I remember corectly, his friend and a rich personality. He was presurised and offered a bribe. However, he would not budge. He stood his ground, and repeatedly asserted that he will only judge based on the pieces of evidence adduced before him in the court. And eventually, he did convict the accused person for he was glaringly guilty.
His attitude is analogous to that of Justice Sowemimo, who told Chief Obafemi Awolowo in 1963, when the latter appeared before him for a 3-count charge of conspiracy and treasonable felony, that,”Here we have one of the first premiers of the autonomous region standing trial. If you were the only one before me, I would have felt that it was enough for you to have undergone the strain of the trial. I would have asked you to go. But I am sorry. I cannot do so now because my hands are tied.”
In a nutshell, I desired to be like this judge. I wanted to be a principled man, who has clearly defined his values, and then would stop at nothing to defend those values. A man who would not compromise his integrity because of familiarity or mere gratification.
CONCLUSION
Well, there you have it. This is the synopsis of the major factors that culminated into my choice of law as a career. I might decide to add some more later on. I did not see my future in a trance, I’m not a gifted dreamer. I was not coerced into the decision, my parents gave me absolute freedom in the aspect. And neither is it because my zodiac sign is libra, in actualty, by bbirthday falls in that of virgo. It is my eldest brother is a libra, and he is not a lawyer.
I want to believe you’ve been exposed to some new facts, as a result of your reading this article. If my guess is right, then I’m glad my effort is not wasted.
Now all want to ask you is, after reading this, if you desire to choose a career for yourself, or perhaps your advice is sought regarding career choice, WHY NOT LAW?