‘BUT MAKE SURE YOU DON’T BLOW UP ANYBODY’

May 10, 2014 – 03:30PM

Remember the ‘old’ joke of there being no difference between Blacks and Monkeys? I believe today, it has re-surfaced in many countries, but now it talks about Muslims and Terrorists.

I was in need of internet connection earlier today, whence, I went to the Faculty of Agric. and Forestry, University of Ibadan; as the Wi-Fi service is still operational. I was about having my sit in the relaxing arena when suddenly one of the security officials, popularly known as ‘Abefele’ sitting nearby beckoned on me. This is the conversation that ensued between us.

Note: I was putting on ‘jumping trousers’; a symbol of Islam which is pants that are not long enough to cover the ankles.

Note again: I will only attempt to paraphrase the expressions used in the actual dialogue, except of course the punch line in the whole story which has stuck to my mind since the incident.

Him: Hello, why are you sitting there?

Me: Good evening sir.

Him: What are you doing here?

Me: I’m only here to make use of my P.C. sir.

Him: Can I see your school ID card?

Me: I’m not with it sir.

Him: So, how do I know you are a student of this school?

Me: I’m sorry but I don’t have any document with me for proper identification sir … but.

Him: Well, you know this is a very critical time for the nation. This Boko-Haram menace, in particular. Seven countries are even here now to render assistance.

Me: Hmmm, yes, I only know of four though.

Him: They’re seven.

Me: Okay sir.

Him: May Nigeria be rid of those terrorists o.

Me: By God’s grace.

Him: So, where’s your ID card.

Me: It’s in my schoolbag sir.

Him: Go and bring it. Where’s your bag?

Me: I actually left it inside the mosque.

Him: Can you go and bring it?

Me: But sir, can you allow me to sit under the Coca-Cola shed over there, since it seems you’re uncomfortable with me sitting behind you

Him: Hmm, okay, no problem. You can sit there.

Me: Thank you sir.

Him: ‘But make sure you don’t blow up anybody o       !

Me: [leaves faking a smile, and thinking what an idiot he is]…

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FIRST SESSION IN OFFICE

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FIRST SESSION IN OFFICE

Ante-Ante-Scriptum: I believe the topic for this article ought to have read ‘first year in office’. However, no thanks to the Academic Staff Union of Universities, that caption has been automatically rendered inappropriate.

Ante-Scriptum: Created this document on my PC since June 28, 2013; opened it on several occasions hoping to add something to it. However it remained unchanged and substantially incomplete for many months. All thanks to God that today, May 10, 2014, almost a year later, I finally am able to be done with it.

It’s been up to a session now since I was saddled with the great responsibility; and perhaps opportunity too, of serving in the position of a class representative once again. Well once again, because I have had a taste of such honour in the past, only that now it is not as a leader of some kindergartners or captain of a class of high school lads; it is as the head of an assemblage of whiz kids, prodigies, soon-to-be jurists and exceptional scholars in Nigeria’s premier university; the University of Ibadan.

The first surprise came when I heard someone shout Kunle; after Mrs Olomola, our first Law 101 lecturer, declared the ground open for nominations into the positions of male and female class representatives. ‘It can’t be’, ‘it has got to be someone else’, ‘who could possibly know me by name’, my thoughts rolled in. But my hope turned vain when nobody else stood up, and the lecturer called for a second time; ‘who is Kunle?’

The second one came when after the voice vote; as if fate was bent on disappointing me, I emerged as the class representative, despite my shortcomings, both overt and covert; and despite the presence of many, better than I am in many aspects, in the same class.

I was even more surprised because I never aspired to or intended to be in such position, even though my action on the morning of that very day, which unexpectedly turned out to be the Election Day, may have triggered the outcome.

I had always wanted to be one who is not easily noticed. One who would come to class quietly, receive lectures, sign attendance registers and leave without anyone’s interference. One who would sit at the tail-end criticising whoever the class rep. was and dishing out my opinions, for the progress of the class, whenever expedient. However, with that singular turn of events, all those hopes were dashed, quashed and short-lived like the Hobbesian state of nature.

I was (and still am) not the most brilliant in the class. I was not the most experienced. I was not the most charismatic. And I certainly was not the most outspoken. How then, I wondered, could I be chosen as the one to lead a class of intellectuals, studying the noblest of professions in Nigeria’s ‘first and best’ university of learning?

The ‘modus operandi’ of what is called ‘destiny’ amazes me at times. What you think could least happen, will happen daringly and remorselessly, and vice versa. I remember that, weeks back, during our medical test [one of freshers’ many rituals] at the law clinic, I was in the gathering of some of my course-mates. One thing led to the other, and a particular lady, I’m not certain of her identity now, said in my presence that I’m ‘not the class rep. type’; and I totally agreed with her. I still think I’m ‘not the type’ though, but then, as the ‘Grand architect of human fate’ would have it, here I am.

Days turn into weeks, and weeks into month. It’s been up to a year now, and I still answer to the title: Class rep. of [now] 200 level law students class [a.k.a. LLB octal-final]. The journey from day one till this moment has been filled with the good, the bad and, of course, the ugly. I have had to do things I ordinarily would not. I have had to meet people I ordinarily wouldn’t move close. Again, I have had to forbear many things, that if I were an ordinary member of the class, I would not have.

WHAT WE HAVE DONE: My appointment into the position is not, so to speak, a political one. I did not engage in campaigning, pleading or manifesto declaration. I was not bound to ‘achieve’ anything through the office, except representing the class, connecting with lecturers and ensuring a smooth ride through our five years in the university. But then, I think it necessary to mention the few things I [and/or we] did in the past year that deviated a little from the routine practice of an average class representative. They are not exceptional, but as this is a recount of my experience in the first session, I will share them still.

  • ‘The Class Directory’: This is where it all started from, I guess. The class directory is a document I prepared before resumption, containing an almost-complete list of names of members of the class along-side spaces to fill-in other details, using the admission lists released by the university. I compiled and designed it solely based on the doctrine of necessity and a spirit of generosity, with no ulterior motives in mind. But then as it turned out, the directory which I publicised on the day of the election, was, more or less, what first endeared me to my colleagues. Anyway, the document has proved useful on many occasions, to both members of the class and non-members alike, in getting the needed contacts.
  • ‘Class versus Congress’: one of the most unforgettable events experienced in the class’s fresher days is the ‘clash with the congress’; the protest of some members of the class at the second (or first?) congress sitting. In short, we were denied our franchise, contrasting what is expressly provided by the LSS (Law Students’ Society) constitution. And rather than argue based on facts and law, the members of the class present that very day decided it best to ‘make them know’ we aren’t docile idiots. They allegedly stood on the chairs, and then some staged a walk-out. The congress was offended, and I eventually had to tender a formal apology before it weeks later. This satisfied them and, in a way, cooled their ego. End of story (or is it … well … not really).
  • ‘Gentleman of the week’: this is another of the projects I embarked on for the class. Every week, I would choose a particular member of the class (male-female-male-female, in that order, week after week). The chosen one would fill, in a form, information such as nick, favourite food, best friend, role model, hobbies, best day on campus, message to colleagues etc. And this would then be uploaded on the Facebook group, as well as the Whatsapp group for others to see. The aim of this apparently is just to bring members of the class into one accord, by facilitating familiarity.
  • ‘Public Address Item’: Aha, well, this came up close to the close of the session. I thought since most of the time, my colleagues complain of not being able to grasp my vocal announcements properly. After I have spoken, many would still ask for what it was I said. Hoping to find a lasting solution to this hitch, I decided to get a mini-public address system; a device that resembles a radio and has a mouthpiece to speak into. I didn’t think to use it several weeks after we resumed from the strike, but when I did use, it really felt awkward, plus it turned out not to be of much use too.
  • ‘Unbeaten Soccer Champs’: one thing that makes me really proud of being a coordinator of the class is that, it is no ordinary class, it is one jam-packed with intelligent, yet equally talented, folks. My course mates are not only bookish, and stylish, they are ‘sportish’.Consecutively, our soccer team has won up to two soccer tournaments and one soccer match, unbeaten on the field of play. First, it was our seniors that challenged us to a match, hoping to welcome us by showing us who’s boss at the faculty. But then, their plot backfired as we turned out to be no rookie at the game. After that, proving our first victory was not a matter of luck, we went ahead to also win the CBN cup and Dean’s cup.

CHALLENGES I CONFRONTED:

  • ‘The Class’: the class has, in a way, been a challenge for me in my capacity as the representative. But then, this is perfectly understandable since we are speaking of learned (or if you may, learning) scholars here; who are perfectly aware of their rights, even the most insignificant, who best know the law and again, how best to break it.

When I say the class has been a challenge, it is primarily in the aspect of cooperation and attentiveness.It is usually frustrating, standing before an audience with an important notice, and then majority of them are making one distracting noise or the other.

Another instance to buttress this challenge is in the area of attendance registers. On one or two occasions, with respect to LAW class I have had to plead with the lecturer not to input the registers. Why, because I would not be able to get back all the lists I passed, God knows why. Maybe, aliens are pilfering them in order to create a database of humans. Just maybe ;-).

  • ‘Finance’: thanks to the Almighty, this hasn’t been much of a challenge. Even though I’m from a humble background, I’ve, thus far, found it bearable to expend money on things such as transport, stationeries and recharge cards (for making calls and browsing); most especially recharge cards.
  • ‘Time management’: sincerely, if I were not in this position, I might have been one of the perpetual late-comers of the class. If I were not the class rep., I would not have had to attend to countless extemporaneous calls from the Faculty Officer, lecturers and students. I would not have had to sacrifice my time for many things that my position requires of me, or that I have made it to require of me. Maybe, this has made me a more responsible person, or maybe it has only succeeded in making not to succeed enough in my studies, I honestly do not know.
  • ‘The Whatsapp group’: this has somewhat been an issue to me since its creation. The problem is: I created the group to serve solely (or basically) as a platform to disseminate information that concern our academic life, I added as many class members as I could to benefit from this, BUT some prefer to convert the status of the group from ‘strictly business’ to ‘fun-for-all’. The group was so anarchical eventually that many leave persistently, including me, during the mid-second semester break (ASUU strike i.e.). I created another one after resumption but the same problem, of getting hundreds and hundreds of chat messages daily, resurfaced. In the end, I came to shape my mind-set into subscribing to the Utilitarian proposition that what is most important is seeking the ‘greatest happiness for the greatest number of people’. I have come to accept that this is a democracy, and the will of the majority must be respected. When the same people that you think you are fighting for turn against you, then you are only wasting your time. Like a Greek philosopher once said; to help a man against his will (e.g. preventing a suicidal person from dying) is, in fact, same as murdering him.

THE GOOD SIDE:

  • ‘Rapport with lecturers and other students’: this is one major reason why many crave to be in the position of class rep. And it is true that my being there has ignited rapport between many lecturers and me. However, I know many students who are closer to all our lecturers than I am. So, I guess it’s never about the position, it’s about the ambition and determination. I have also interacted with many other individuals [e.g. LSS officials, and excos of student organisations], not because they find my personality likable, but because they find my rank instrumental.
  • ‘Public speaking practice’: my public speaking and audience facing skills have been improved, I guess, as a result of the incessant cases where I had to address a class of hundreds for one thing or the other. But I must add, that even though I’ve done it times without count, I still hesitate, most times, before taking those steps to the front of the class.

CONCLUSION: That I may not be criticised for writing something not too far from being a facsimile of ‘So long a letter’, I will promptly conclude by, first appreciating my course mates for understanding and bearing with my inadequacies all these while – all the times I failed or forgot to pass attendance sheets, all the times I could or would not check for results and time-tables on time, all the times you called and I didn’t pick, all the times my voice was not audible enough for the whole class to grasp, all the times I did not speak when I was expected to and the times I spoke when it was uncalled for, all the times it seemed I deliberately shunned some person(s) or that I was not amiable enough, all the times I have, in one way or the other, offended either an individual, a caucus, or the whole class in general, and all those other times, in which I did other things, my frail brain would not remember. I thank you all for understanding; and indeed I am sorry for all those times.

I want to use this medium to enjoin everyone reading this not to hesitate in sharing prickly, but constructive, criticisms whenever necessary, directing them to whoever is concerned, and not minding whose toe is stepped on, not caring whose ox is gored.

What I am trying to say is: censure, reproach and lash the leader whenever he does something that is, in your honest opinion, wrong; whenever his attitude is becoming unbecoming and his actions are turning untoward.

My religion has made me to understand perfectly that the position of leadership is a very crucial and consequential one. It is one which one holding it will be made to compulsorily account for, if not in this world, in the next. My job is to promote the good of the class, and to satisfy its needs. If anyone is aggrieved as a result of my actions or decisions, I cannot possibly know unless I am told. Just like mens rea is no crime and a mere cerebral or wishful acceptance is no acceptance; a mental dissatisfaction, which is not expressed or even impliedly indicated, is no dissatisfaction at all; it is useless.

Verily, the tasks before us are much greater than the ones we left behind. Let us learn from our past mistakes, especially respecting our academic concern, and apply the lessons therein to better our present with a view to inheriting a desired future.

Let us face our studies squarely, yet also remember that facing it only will merely educate us partly and not roundly.

Let us make unity our watchword; sustain the spirit of camaraderie that has kept us thus far; and do away with all fissiparous factors, whether via political affiliations, behavioural polarity or academic envy.

And with the God of Justice on our side, like He has been on our side in all those soccer tournaments, we will get to our preferred termini; and we will be glad, in the end, that we did not get there with another set of great young minds, different from the one we are with now.

Thanks for reading; LOVE YOU ALL!

INTERVIEW WITH ‘A PRODIGY…’

 

Full name: Adebajo Adekunle Fisayo

Your Email: kunslens@gmail.com

What’s your Blog’s name and URL: The Prodigy’s Ratiocinations: www.adekunleadebajo.wordpress.com

What’s your Blog about: the blog basically revolves around sharing an insight into my held opinions regarding various aspects of life (politics, society, academics, theology etc.), through the use of poems, articles, debate and presentation topics. It also encompasses pieces of information which the author deems necessary and fit for public consumption.

What do you do: we use our publications to enlighten and re-orient our readership, not forgetting to entertain them in the process. Edutainment is our watchword.

Who are your readers: they range from students to poets, from professionals who need source materials, to anyone who simply enjoys a good write-up.

What’s the greatest thing about your blog: though ‘the prodigy’s ratiocinations’ may not yet be popular, it has contributed one way or the other to the society. It gives me a perfect medium to showcase my abilities, share my views and right social wrongs in the little way I can. It is to me, a boon companion. That, I believe, is just awesome.

Why is it better than other blogs: it is better than many other blogs due to its originality and the universal applicability of some of its contents.

How’d you come up with the name for your blog: it resulted from the deep musings and ratiocinations of a prodigy, a would-be legend.

What was your first blogging experience: I have none prior to the time I created ‘the prodigy’s ratiocinations’.

How did you first get into the world of blogging: this was through the WordPress android app. I downloaded. After creating the blog, I have had no regrets.

What time do you usually start blogging: whenever I find convenient. No fixed time.

How many hours a day do you usually blog: for now, at most, between 3 and 4 hours.

What major problems is your blog coming to address: the problems of ignorance and disorientation in whatever field; grammatical, political, religious, legal, social and so on.

When do your best ideas come to you? In bed in the morning? During dinner? On your third beer? Or?: I could be trekking, eating, reading news, about to sleep, praying, just about any time.

A lot of people have big ideas. What gave you the courage to go after yours: a picture of the near-future, the desire to be heard and appreciated.

When’s the last time you went on vacation and where did you go to: some months back, Lagos.

Remember the early days of starting up? Describe the struggles you went through: lack of a personal computer was a major challenge, coupled with a limited access to the internet.

How do you handle frustration: I take a time-off, and do something pleasurable (like sleep, eat, go on a trekking spree or game) to relax.

What has been your biggest professional frustration: working hard to get something published, only for it not to be read (as expected). Not too big a deal though.

What’s your blogging environment like: just like ‘home’, no strict deadlines, no explicit restrictions, just having fun and making impact.

Do you listen to music: not as the average person does, very minimal and rare.

Watch movies: not frequent, but I enjoy watching good intellectual and mind-boggling movies.

Play video games: not that frequently too. I only do on a few occasions using my PC.

How do you picture your blog in 5 years: I see it as a leading blog for getting beneficial, life-changing information; a blog which government visits for guidance in decision-making.

Who or what inspires you: my readers and their inspiring comments.

Role models: Malcolm X, Gani Fawehinmi.

Quotes: ‘speak clearly if you speak at all, carve every word before you let it fall’ (Oliver Wendell Holmes), ‘all that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’ (Edmund Burke), ‘a journey of a thousand miles must begin with a step’ (Lao Tzu).

Video games: PES 2011, Unreal Tournament, Mortal kombat.

Snack food: mince pie, doughnut, sausage roll.

How’d you currently make money off your blog: I had not given monetising my blog a serious thought until ‘Cambiar blogs’ gave me a call. Hopefully, I won’t be disappointed.

What other advice do you have for other wanna-be bloggers struggling to get started: make originality, diligence and steadfastness your slogans.

What would you do if you had a year off and 50,000,000 to spend (on something other than blogging): I would invest judiciously in ICT, agriculture and import/export business.

Do you consider yourself a successful blogger? If not, what will make you feel successful: I do not yet consider myself successful at blogging, and having this feeling will naturally be a function of how much impact I’m able to make, and how much I’m able to gain as well through blogging.

Top 5 websites you couldn’t live without and why: Nairaland.com, Facebook.com, Naijawriterscoach.com, WordPress.com, ipage.com. They all assist me in getting and sharing virtual information, quickly and easily.

What is your music genre of choice: if I were to be a music enthusiast, then I would have much preference for ‘blues’.

Number 1 country you’ve always wanted to visit but haven’t yet? And why that country: there is no country in particular, I wish to be able to travel across the globe with ease one day. However, I hope I would be able to gain a scholarship to study in Harvard University (U.S) for my PhD programme.

Three people (other than you) we should follow on Twitter or BBM and why: @OxygenMat, @naijacontests, @aminugamawa. They keep me informed on happenings in the world of writing, and socio-politics.

SIGNIFICANCE OF BEING PATIENT

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THE SIGNIFICANCE OF BEING PATIENT
“o you who believe! Be patient and excel in patience and remain steadfast, and be careful of (your duty to)Allah, that you may be successful.”

One faithful day, during the hour of Salatu-l-Zuhr (afternoon prayer for muslims), a musafir (traveller) was urged to lead the congregation in prayer. And after the completion, he narrated a short but beautiful story on the virtues of patience and forbearance. In shaa Allah, I will retell this story, as accurately as possible, using his own perspective.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

There was a time I had problem with my skin, so I paid a visit to a clinic that specialises in skin diseases, or so it seemed. I was told to wait, along with some others, at the reception. There were four of us; two appear to be conscious muslims and the last individual is a lady.

As time went by, the lady began to sing Christian songs, apparently seeing that those with are belong to another faith. Ideally, the muslim brothers ignored the lady’s clear attempts at provoking. Not getting the result she wanted, the lady raised her voice, and even turned in the muslims’ direction. Yet, they remained calm. In fact, being a muslim myself, and witnessing the whole episode, I felt obliged to address the woman and correct her lapse. More so, that my appearance would not present me as one who is biased. However, I remained silent.

After some time, the two brothers left the reception. And I asked the lady why exactly she pulled the stunt, knowing full well that they are muslims. She then said; “No o! Don’t you know those guys? They’re not muslims! One bears the name Paul and the other one is Samuel.” I was shocked at this response, but not for too long as I soon found out that she had a mental impairment.

Just imagine what could have happened if the reaction of the muslims had been retaliatory or violent? Who knows what might have ensued.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The lesson I learnt from this story is to be patient in all situations. Things are not always as they seem. A muslim does not act based on emotion, but on reasoning. He does not allow his ego to rule over his intellect and moral code. If everyone goes mad, a muslim must be able to keep his head.

The truth is that if the two brothers had complained or shouted at the lady, everyone would heap the blame on them. The world is forever watching the muslim ummah for mistakes, flaws and shortcomings so that they may capitalise on such, and tarnish the image of Islam. We cannot allow this to happen. And that is why we must always act with caution, making sure to follow the example of the prophet (PBUH) to the letter.

This reminds of the story of how Hazrat Hamza (RA) reverted to Islam. One day, the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was in meditation at the foot of Safa mountain, when Abu Jahl rebuked him in an extremely objectionable language and struck him. Uttering not a word, the Prophet (PBUH) returned home. Hamza had just returned from hunting, and he came to know about this incident. He rushed angrily to the compound of the Ka’aba, and saw Abu Jahl sitting among other Quraish leaders. He reproached and hit him, making the Shahada (the testimony in the oneness of Allah and prophethood of Muhammad). If the prophet had not been patient, and had he spoken angrily back at Abu Jahl, Hamza most likely would not have died as a believer.

The Prophet exhibited this attribute on countless occasions, and because of it, many believed and followed his path. It is, therefore, imperative for us too to inculcate it. May Allah (glorified and exalted is He) make it easy for us.

Amin.