COMPILATION OF HON. OBAHIAGBON’S STAGGERING RELEASES

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HERE IS A COMPILATION OF TEN OF THE LEGENDARY AND CONTROVERSIAL PERSONALITY, HONOURABLE PATRICK OBAHIAGBON’S (ALIAS IGODOMIGODO), RELEASES ON NIGERIAN POLITY.

DON’T JUST READ WITH THE INTENT OF LAUGHING, ENDEAVOUR TO GAIN AS WELL.

ENJOY!

1. ON NIGERIA AT 52

As we celebrate our flag and shambolic autarky at 52, we must realise that Nigeria is still more of a geographic contrivance as has been
rightly posited by Chief Obafemi Awolowo. Not with our centrifugal
excrescences preponderating over our centripetal proclivities.
It’s a matter for mental pabulum that we are daily drifting into our ethnic cocoons. We still remain one country with disparate ethnic agendas and I can say it for the umpteenth time again that we must sit down in a sovereign national colloquy to discuss the basis for our nationhood.
Anything short of this is just vacuous scahiamachy.”
Patrick Obahiagbon

2. ON PROF. SOFOLUWE’s DEATH.

“I condole with the UNILAG Community on the recumb in quietus of the VC, Prof. Sofoluwe. The clerisy has lost a solitaire. “Prof. Sofoluwe’s passing is mere ephemeral recumbent hibernation; an
empyrean paradisiac rendezvous lies ahead. Heaven is the terminus,”
Patrick Obahiagbon On Being Disturbed By A Girl On Facebook

3. ON DISTURBANCES ON HIS FACEBOOK WALL

At long last,Sodom and Gomorrah don come tanda gidigba for my FB Wall.I beg make una help me beg one Sabinna with kpotoki body and her coquettish fidus achates when they dress in puris naturalibus for my wall say make them carry their fiddle.faddle commot go another piazza.I enter public disclaimer lest i swim in the legal aqua of
particeps criminis.

4. ON GOV. OSHIOMOLE’s VICTORY AGAINST TONY ANENIH.

“Amidst the great cosmogyral peregrinations of galaxies, amidst the great turmoil in the Land, there is still hope for the future. Congratulations the People’s Governor.
The Governor’s antecedents is the coherentific factor behind the Great People of Edos’ consensus verdict. Tony Anenih will be positively alabandical. Say no to God Fatherism.”

5. ON NIGERIAN PASTORS AND PRIVATE JETS

I cast my vote for Bishop Matthew Hassan Kukah and Pastor Tunde Bakare in their demosthenic vitriol against spiritual megalomaniacs whose modus vivendi has become increasingly byzantine and
repulsively narcissistic.We must all begin to deprecate this razzmatazz and Nestorian braggadocio in the “HOUSE OF
GOD”,because when there is no difference between the values of a Pastor and a typical Nigerian Politician,then it’s truly a
bolekaja ambience.

6. ON THE JUBILATION IN KADUNA OVER YAKOWA’S DEATH

“Whilst I feel tongue tied that we are witnessing another ‘air mishap’ that has taken the lives of fellow Nigerians, I am utterly shocked to hear of the jubilation in certain Northern political quarters and muslim youths in Kaduna State. Just too too cruddy and it is beyond the fugacious razzmatazz of the moment.
“I seriously call attention to the rutilanting and coruscating modus vivendi of Master Jesus the Christ and I dare pontificate that
save and until we viscerally emblematize the virtues of self-immolation, quintessential abnegation, eulogizeable simplicity, humility and immerse ourselves in a platonic emotionalism of agape love and communalistic service and head to
unity as one nation,”

7. AFTER LOSING HIS PRIMARY ELECTION.

‘This has made me suffused with emotional narcolepsy that the
homosapiens in d metro-political geographical enclave of Edo have opted for Owanbe-ing over legislative Quomodo dicis. Such a reckless display of narcissistic and flamboyant hedonism is capable of
encumbering our nascent democracy with insidious, repercussive and cataclysmic exigencies.

8. ON 2013 ASUU STRIKE

This ASUU strike is a miasma of a deprecable apothesis of an hemorrhaging plutocracy, cascadingly oozing into a malodorous excrescence of mobocracy.
With all termagant ossifying proclivities of a kakistocracy, our knowledgia centura is enveloped in a paraphlegic crinkum crankum.
Therefore ASUU,cest in dejavu, dejavu peret ologomabia.

9. ON PATIENCE D. JONATHAN AND THE RIVERS STATE CRISIS

Is the malodorous excrescence in Rivers state,cascadingly oozing out from erebus Dame,all about the satiation of a megalomaniacal presidential termagant?
Let someone please assist me in whispering to the Dame that Alagamus Paret,Ai Ai Num,Ai Ai Num Cest Daret,Opotere Alagamus…

AND LASTLY…

10. AN INTERVIEW WITH VANGUARD

What is the meaning of Igodomigodo? So many people would want to know?

Igodomigodo is a political sobriquet I have habilimented or if you like togarise my identity for a period of aeon to emblematize my culturico-spiritual fons et origo. It was an advertent stratagem to
cosmopolitanize my genealogical matrix and arcane trajectory since it was not by accident that I originated from the land of Igodomigodo. The interesting thing is that IGODOMIGODO, being the pristine
nomenclature of the Bini man, evokes in me the alacritous presence of the invisible “gods” of my progenitors which, by itself, invokes a luxuriation in an ancestral egregore of pristine resurgimento.

How did you actually come about the bombast with which you speak?

Well, this question can be answered from a bifurcated fons et origo.
One, I had a singular privilege of having a martinet for a father. My father was, and remains a very strict disciplinarian of puritanical and quixotic predilection. What that meant, my brother, in practical terms was that I never saw the streets of Benin outside my father’s compound after 7p.m., until I became a practising lawyer. I didn’t
know how Benin looked like after 7p.m., except of course when I had to go to school.
If you grew up under that type of ambience, you cannot but put your nose to the grindstone. And more germane was the fact that when my father traveled abroad, he brought with him a flyer to the effect that good speakers have ruled the world, and if you want to rule the world, you cannot but be a good speaker. I was very impressionable when he gave me this flyer which he had bought from London
and for me who have always had the primus mobile and gravitating force to want to be part and parcel of the political higgi haggar of my milieu, I said to myself that if being a good speaker was the
condition sine qua non for ruling the world, then I was going to do everything possible to be a good speaker and that was how I acclimatized myself very voraciously to the Students’ Companion and read all there was to read that came my way. It was indeed a period of mental lucubration and intellectual gymkhana but more fundamentally is the fact that – and I’ve always said this – for most people, the dictionary is a reference point; but, for me, for over 25years now, the dictionary is a vade mecum – constant companion that
is.

How?

I have spent nothing less than an hour on a daily basis on my dictionary for the past twenty five years and this could go from
the pedestrian dictionary to the Encyclopedia and even to the Encarta
dictionaries.

What purpose do you want to achieve with that? Just to speak, or to confuse people by being bombastic and verbose?

Let me tell you an incident that occurred that I want to bring under focal hiceps and biceps when I had the rare privilege to peregrinate through the green chambers, the House of Representatives, specifically.
I’m talking about when I had the opportunity to describe the intended
legislative gambadoism of my colleagues as amounting to legislative rascality. You remember I was to be committed to
parliamentary seppuku for that idiolect.

THANKS FOR READING!

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